Nerfy's Revenge
Posted: Wednesday, September 02, 2009
by Kirk Adams
Suddenly, Beggle the porcupine flew threw the doorway and lodged himself in the sofa. The stage was now set. Everything was in place, the plunger was in the ceiling, the chicken was strategically placed in the cupboard, the ties were hanging on the ceiling fan, the temperature was a modest 65 degrees, and nowthe porcupine was stuck in the sofa. They laid in wait. Jorgee was bound to walk in at any moment.
It was a beautiful calm and sunny day. Despite the clarity of the skies , a storm was brewing in the Merpner house. Jorgee moved slowly towards the large mahogany door with sparkling brass doorknobs and glass so thick you would almost expect it to stop a bullet. Strong and glamorous was the pattern. It sparkled with fine beveled edges. The glass was cut in four large octagons. Two were on top and the other two were right below them on the top half of the door. There were also two rods of glass running perpendicular to each other and splicing the mid sections of the four glass windows. This door had one unique feature. It had a cat door with a receiver that only opened by responding to the transmitter that was on a microchip located in the collars of each of the cats. That way, not just any cat could come through the door.
Inside, there was a marvelous tile floor that was tan with sprinkles of burgundy, a large flat screen television on the wall, some dark brown recliners, your usual mini library that consisted of a few fully stocked bookshelves, a beautiful coffee table and end tables, all made of walnut of course, some lamps, and a couch. Jorgee moved up to the door, the door light flashed green with acceptance and allowed Jorgee to enter. Jorgee poked his head through ever so slightly to look around. Momentarily, he thought to himself, "hey I'm the big cat, what am I so scared of? Nerfy better watch out." By this time, Jorgee had managed to make it halfway through the door. He looked to the left, and he looked to the right. Then, he looked up. At first Jorgee was just perplexed and had thought the owner, Mr. Merpner had gone insane. As he was contemplating the next best explanationit happened.
Out of nowhere Nerfy came like lighting from the left and sailed right in front of Jorgee and then stopped instantly exactly where he wanted to. He was now eye-to-eye with Jorgee. Jorgee was caught off guard, wide eyed with fear and uncertainty about what was coming next. Frozen in time Jorgee started at Nerfy. Suddenly, Nerfy bent his head back and bobbed it wildly as he screamed aloud. It sounded like an Apache war cry, which of course led to violent shaking executed with great technical and methodical skill by the flailing of arms and legs in an exotic representation of some crazy form of martial arts. Not three seconds after the screaming started, Jorgee, was led out of his trance, shaken back to reality, or what was left of it, and shrieked in terror.
Without even thinking, Jorgee bolted to the left with instincts that would get him to higher ground in order to gain a tactical advantage. Unfortunately, Jorgee never saw it coming and the next few minutes will forever be emblazoned in his psyche. Jorgee hit the couch fast. In fact, it was so fast that there was a healthy two seconds from the time he hit the couch to the time it took the pain to register from sinking his rather boisterous rear end into the prickly porcupine needles all over the back of Beggle the porcupine. Beggle had just managed to wiggle himself out of the couch he was so rudely tossed into earlier in the day. Instantly, Jorgee catapulted upward, but Nerfy was ready. Nerfy pounced upwards at the same time Jorgee ascended towards the ceiling and it all happened in slow motion. Nerfy reached out for the plunger handle, grabbed it with one arm, swung around two times, and on the third time he started wailing incomprehensibly and contorting himself into a fierce flying kick position.
At this point, Jorgee was headed towards Nerfy. This time Jorgee saw it coming, and the only thing he could do was close his eyes, curl up and hope for the best. Nerfy delivered a devastating blow with his paw and sent Jorgee into the kitchen. Jorgee landed and gathered his senses watching Nerfy's every move. Next, Nerfy swung around the handle one more time, yanked the plunger from the ceiling, leaped towards the ceiling fan and grabbed one of the ties. Then, he swung like a pendulum towards the kitchen but didn't let go. He looped the end of a long string of ties he had tied together and lynched the slipknot.
Then, Nerfy screamed his last battle cry as he launched the plunger at Jorgee. It missed him by inches and suctioned to the cupboard door. Jorgee thought he had dodged a critical hit. But in his final act of retribution, Nerfy let go, screamed one last war cry, and yanked the plunger back and opening the cupboard door. Poor Jorgee, he had no chance. Finally, out burst the most terrifying, frightening chicken Jorgee had ever seen. It pecked his nose and Jorgee took off tearing around the house being chased feverishly by some demented wild chicken. Nerfy stood on the couch and watched with a grin of total satisfaction as lamps fell, glasses broke, and big bully cats were dealt a mighty hand of justice.
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)Has some interesting potential - would read more clearly with a few more paragraph breaks.
Agreed - needs some more breaks. Otherwise, fun stuff!
Hi Kirk.Brilliant! Absolutely. I could see it all. Does need more paragraph breaks, though. And welcome to SearchWarp. Hope we read more of you.Dianne
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